Intricate Mind

Day 82 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-21T20:07:00.002-05:00

I started this project with intentions to share everyday. Some days lately, I write but I just don't wanna post it here. I feel my writing is in a transition period. And like a mother protecting her child from being picked on at school as they go through the ugly duckling phase, I feel a need to protect my craft until it evolves to the next level...but, being a complete contradiction of what I just said...tonights piece.

My Baby

I hide you with cardboard covers
I fold pages in phases shielding you from critique
I grew you from my thoughts but my words sometime sound like he
I know you wanna grow into something bigger
Transform and expand to a new plane
Vernacular and word play insane
We'll get there
Give mama time to create more wrinkles on her brain
Death to my old writing style
As I make the left and right motions of pupils even more worth while
Constantly competing with who I was and who im going to be
It gets better
Watch and see....

Day 81 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-21T20:04:00.001-05:00

God inspired me today....

All glory to you
Faithfulness and love so true
The king of kings, God

Day 80 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-21T20:03:00.000-05:00

I didn't write anything I felt like sharing today...the piece I wrote was a little too personal and intimate for the eyes of the world....

Day 79 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-18T21:05:00.002-05:00

Free versing....

Free

I wanna live on the wind with you
Create unimaginable shapes in the clouds
If the world allowed us to expose our hearts the way we do with each other God would be so proud
I want to ride crests of wave with a life that's already saved
Absent of fear
Sailing the ocean of many joyful tears
I wanna be free with you

Day 78 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-18T21:04:00.000-05:00

Vacation

I wanna journey to where the sky is our ceiling Exotic sands is where we make our bed Clothed in sweat and a Windex clarity of the mind Where loves penetration forces an ejaculation That plants the seed of forever A memory to forget never A deeper bond that can not be severed This space can only be occupied by you and I No latitude or longitude could find No wondering stranger or curious eye We dwell in the understanding of each other Knowledge of self and the most high Where sun never bids us goodbye Where the moon is just daylights sigh Where birds collaborate with the wind to carry moans of sin Where beauty is so breath taking words can't connect to make minds comprehend Where we write poetry on walls of sand castles that never wash away Where we have unspoken conversations so even our whispers can never be replayed Where smiles adorn every ensemble And the contrast of our connection and Gods illustration create mental elevation from the bullshit we're facing... Let's get away! :)

Day 77 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

...........I draw a blank today. Sorry.

Day 76 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-15T23:40:00.001-05:00

Dream House

Scarlet wall I stand redefined by a man Who's hands rebuilt the most displaced of foundations His oral manipulations Make stern dissertations Of life I bleed for HE the dark EBONY of the minds eye Only HE too can see I am his vision He became my roof Together we made a house from a distant closeness Not even paper signatures Or vowed third fingers Could understand or reprimand Brick by brick he expanded me I surrounded HE And now the house on 331 August St sits so lovely Im also the berry that made his wine The feather that tickled his mind A melody so sublime I am aura itself He is my love ornament encased in a shelf Together We Are Built by life Painted with love Sold on infinity (8)

Day 75 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-14T22:16:00.002-05:00

I rarely write pieces specifically for Black History Month or something just representing my heritage...well tonight I am. Inspired by the recommendation of Randy Britt. I didn't watch the Color Purple but I felt a vibe....

Free

Freedom ain't free for me
Ask my ancestry
From broken down backs to
Feet with bloody cracks
We live in peace from the restlessness of the deceased
Planking isn't a joke to the trains that used to tote
Many men
Thank God it came to an end
So that we could be a costly free

Day 74 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-13T20:03:00.001-05:00

This piece is to the love of my life...

I take of you daily
You give me life
My lungs expand to your joy
My heart slows to the beat of your peace
You wrap me in your faithfulness
And yet I fall short of what you expect of me
Love unchanging
I worship you
My God

Day 73 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-13T00:31:00.001-05:00

Haiku

Guess who's knocking now
The surface of the real you
I knew she would come

Day 72.....

2011-11-13T00:30:00.000-05:00

Moving consumed me....the end.

Day 71 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-10T20:46:00.002-05:00

Moving into my new house tomorrow...the lazy post tonight...and I mean REAL lazy lol.

White pages
I made lines with the tears of happiness
made ink from rose petals
all from the place where love settles

Day 70 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-09T20:16:00.001-05:00

Mannnnn, smh....karma is so real. Some things I've done in my life I hadn't seen until now. Apparently im not the only one. I find it quite comical at this point because in life, its inevitable. You reap what you sew. The basis for tonights piece.

Karma

Karma is a bitch
Don't think she doesn't know you
She's rounding the block

Day 69 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-08T18:04:00.002-05:00

Day 69....you know I'm gonna have to make today's piece sexually charged...here goes!

Untitled

Your syllables are so sensual
Folds moisten when I set eyes between your lines
Each stanza puts me in a trace
The meanings behind your words make my thoughts dance
A lyrical strip tease
Wanting to massage his member I steal his pen
Brushing it across my lips
I want to taste his inspiration and swallow his words
Wrap my legs around his mind
Deep throat his verbs
I'm his uninhibited poetess
We go line for line at any given time
Raw dog on white we write
And he still kisses me in the mouth every night
We build constantly as he undressed my mind

Day 68 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-07T17:53:00.001-05:00

One paragraph autobiography

my God taught me how to love,
my mom taught me how to be strong,
my sister taught me how to be a wife,
I learned how to survive from life,
Poverty taught me how to prosper,
and everything that once held me back will push to get even farther.

Day 67 "Poem A Day"

2011-11-06T15:03:00.003-05:00

(A brief preface)...so im doing my normal Sunday routine...football, laundry, cleaning, reading and writing. No music today I wanted no interruption of my thoughts. The tv is on mute. The only thing I hear is the whisper of my own voice in my head as I recite what im reading in my head. The book that's holding me captive? Something which appeals to my interest in people, the mind, and the way we operate as humans. I began to envision myself as an airbourne chemical that infiltrates your mind. Lol. Gotta love my immagination....so here's the piece.

The Chemical Known As E7

Invisibly I move about a room
Every human sense I fine tune
Burning eyes with the sinful lust of my silhouette
Warming skin with a presence not easy to forget
Hardening members
Moistening folds
Tainting innocent thoughts
Nostrils expand to inhale my breeze
Collapsing hearts
I weaken knees
Aroma sweet
Stings chest like bees
Stomachs begin to quake like earth
Men become pressed like shirts
Melting away the person you have known you to be
Exposing a layer only evident to me
Your taste is no longer the same
Insanity is no longer your name
Infected by black called EBONY
You die to the world of monotony

Day 66 "Poem A Day"

2011-11-05T07:59:00.002-04:00

No prefacing. No format. Just releasing some inspiration. Dedicated to someone, you know who you are, even though I don't.

He changed clothes many times
No article of clothing brought anyone familiar to mind
He told stories she could recollect
However a stranger occupied their bed, on the left
A voice familiar
A face she knew
But souls so distant
She knew not what to do
So she lay in a bed of memories
Reminiscing on the one which she yearned
The deafening question
Did I make the wrong turn?

Day 65 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-05T07:53:00.002-04:00

Reminiscing....a haiku

#Build

Im remembering
Hips kissed by sweet sincere lips
Touch I miss so much

Day 64 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-03T19:58:00.002-04:00

This piece is inspired by a one line story by Hemingway "Baby shoes for sale: never been worn" (Google it)

She took his first breath
Life never having a chance
Selfishness of an outrageous proportion
A murderer walking free
Pain between legs that span to heart
All from sex so wrecklessly

Day 63 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-02T20:27:00.002-04:00

One sentence poem. Inspired by Urban Poetry on Facebook

My resiliency came inevitbaly by the skin I wear inheritedly.

Day 62 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-01T20:23:00.002-04:00

Today im inspired by the way love inspires words. Have you ever loved someone and you could never get the right words to say when speaking to them but you could write a whole book just about the two of you? That's how I feel tonight. Im loving the hell outta someone special today. He knows who he is. *winks* ....show me your muscles. Lol (insider)

Artists

The world was our canvas
We painted it red
Strokes of blue
Waterfalls from eye balls made slow crawls
Blotches of green seeped in between
Eyes of envy for all that we be
Long sensual strokes of white
Our spirits make love each night
Black spots we made hot
Creating memories on latitudes others know not
Purple circles cover it all
With the exploration of each others mind
We traveled every hall
So I hang our love proudly on my wall
Even in an earthquake this painting will never fall
Even in a tsunami these colors will never crawl
Permanently painted happy
In the world of my ......(insert YOUR name here)

Lol! ;)

Day 61 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-11-01T20:21:00.000-04:00

I was too tired to write. Long day. The end.

Day 60 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-30T15:10:00.002-04:00

I don't know what inspired this piece. The feeling or words that I'm about to express must be intended for someone else. I have these times when the pieces I write aren't a product of my own mood but possibly meant for someone else. So, for whoever you may be...this one is for you.

A Moment with My Thoughts

You left me alone so long
With these sentences that beat lines into my mind
I now have learned to cope with them
However they chill moments in time
My heart becomes cold when I replay certain words
My lips begin to tremble when I remember visions of hands that hurt

You left me alone so long
I developed my own strength
Not a fist, slap, or kick endowed me
Life built upon what I have come to be
God rebuilt the person you now see
Intelligence saw past the bullshit you fed me

You left me alone so long
Now...I am FREE!

Day 59 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-29T18:31:00.002-04:00

Untitled

Clothed in peace
The sun smiles at me
Clouds move to form shapes of hope
Blades of grass sway as my spirit takes a trip
Restricting myself by my windows grip
Wanting to describe the beauty of the world from memory
Testing my senses and thinking more intimately
Void of ones perception of right
In darkness I grab my pen and with words make light

Day 58 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-28T21:04:00.002-04:00

No prefacing tonight....a haiku....

Untitled

Two souls meant to be
Finding you was destiny
An unending bond

Day 57 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-27T18:01:00.003-04:00

I somehow got lost in my day. Lost in my routine. Lost in the ability to be what I have been wanting to be for months. I haven't left the house but I managed to create my own world around my errands and find a creative place to settle my thoughts and write. So here it is....

The concept...a blind person, who has never seen the things we so often take for granted, who for the first time can see. This piece I pray one day can be translated to braille.

Untitled

The warmth you feel on your face when removed from any covered place
It's a mixture of gold jewelry and orange tangarines that immediately burns your eyes
The sun induced tears now make you cry
Three blinks, a breath, not tilt back your neck
The feel of cool cotton balls moves slowly through the sky
Different shapes that form different pictures for each viewing eye
The canvas I call the sky is a warm silk sheet blue
The world beneath it is comprised of many different hues
The grass somewhat sharp like a straight pen pricking your heart
Tiny ants rant as footsteps interrupt their paths
Bees buz happily as children's laughter accompanies playful dance
So many lights and darks of green slide between the toes of naked feet that tread this scene
The wind makes leaves dance
Brown crumpled and detatched from a tree make their way down moderately busy streets
Gray pavements
Black pot holes
Such a variety of beautiful people to behold
Each face having a story to be told
Now turning to a glass you are amazed by the lass
That you for the very first time could see
Overwhelming joy as you touch your face and quietly ask
"Is that me?"

Day 56 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-26T18:51:00.002-04:00

Today I am in the spirit of thankfulness. For those that may not know, I recently relocated back to Georgia. I moved solely on FAITH. I left Virginia with a heart of expectation and now I stand on gratefulness. This piece is dedicated to the man I love more than anyone, even myself. He loves me like no other and I owe him much more than a poem but I just felt the NEED to glorify him with the gift he gave me. Im not doing this in any type of format im just opening my heart.

A Letter to My Father

Dear God,

I love you so much. I don't speak to you enough. I live in ways that break your heart sometime yet you still love me, listen to me, and petty my every groan. You answer prayers I pray as long as I trust that you will, and yet sometime I still have the audacity to worry sometime. Forgive me for my shortcomings but thank you for giving me a gift of words. Thank you for using me as a tool to reach your people. Thank you for blessing those around me through the faith I have in you FOR them. Thank you for your faithfulness. Thank you for your majesty. Thank you for knowing my name when I could be a nobody to you. Thank you for giving me your BEST in everything. The best friends, the best family, the best man...you took me from walking, to the bus, to a new car...from hotels, to living with family, to apartments, to my own HOUSE...from a good job to a GREAT job...thank you Jesus. Thank you!

Day 55 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-25T21:05:00.002-04:00

Have you ever lived somewhere or been around someone that you thought you knew but everything about them seemed different?...well, that's the basis for this piece. Sometime I go places or occupy certain circles that aren't necessarily "me" but I make the best of it, for whatever reason. But feelings still remain....

Known Strangers

Faceless friends with empty grins
Greet at doors with glass pores
Oozing green from the bricks that encompass this scene
Eyes red
Souls dead
Price tags on emotions that still exist to be
Who are these people?
Or maybe its just me
I don't see with their eyes
I feel where their emptiness lies
My chameleon skin can not change to fit the shit that seems so unreal
How are such lifeless people considered alive still?
For them even my quizzical expression can be cured within a store or a pill
These aren't my friends
This is not my scene
I sleep on the lines others can't read between
With eyes wide open
In steps of two
I exit from this eerie de ja vu

Day 54 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-24T21:54:00.002-04:00

Im so blessed. God is so good. Today was a miracle in the form of a prayer prayed years ago manifested today...I have been wanting a job ..no, correction THE job I have now. At first, when I prayed for this job years ago, I thought I was ready to receive it. But GOD knew I would move away, and learn manity life lessons, all to return mentally and spiritually prepared for the position. So now it was given. Timing is an amazing thing, and faith is an even more amazing thing...ok, enough prefacing...tonight, im gonna haiku you...

Days on end I prayed
Even when I left faith stayed
Now it manifests

Day 53 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-23T10:04:00.003-04:00

I love it when I wake up inspired!...as soon as I opened my eyes this morning, these lines began to flow.

Wireless

I need a no strings attached
Emotionally but invisibly latched
Communicate through states
A frequency that elates
A vibe that transcribes
A love no one can define
Create our own network which no one can connect to
Security in each other; hackers can't penetrate our WPA2
I need a 2L331 router connected to my internal hub
You infiltrated my geek squad, picked the lock to my home and installed a wireless love.

Day 52 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-22T18:03:00.002-04:00

Right now I am doing exactly what I want to be doing. My heart is at peace, my mind is at peace, and my environment is stable...I have things maneuvering through my mind so im guessing they'll come together to form poetry soon. I plan to ramble about my emotion until...and there it is!.... Inspiration!

Untitled

Peace kissed my fingertips
I lovingly stoked letters on keys
Love touched my heart
I made a rhyme sing a melody
Nature blessed my eyes
I grew trees from metaphorical seeds
God endowed my situation
I gave praise for the life I lead
The sun tanned my spirit
The moon lit my night
The stars emersed me in sleep
Fate brought life to a dream

Day 51 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-22T10:07:00.000-04:00

Um, yeah...I literally drove all day today...the end lol

Day 50 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-22T09:53:00.002-04:00

Didn't write today...was busy packing, celebrating a new beginning, and saying "see you later" to my present environment.

Day 49 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-19T07:22:00.001-04:00

Haiku....

Over IT

Want to disappear
My mind is no longer here
I need him RIGHT now!

Day 48 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-18T05:56:00.002-04:00

The "Cento"...paying hommage to some of the best poets in VA. Donna Grant Thomas, Angela Lynette, Rashine McCoy, Cassandra IsFree, Millard Q. Shukree, and Catherine Sexeekittee Hodges II. And there are soooooo many amazing poets in VA but these allowed me bounce my creativity off their amazing talents so much love to the above for that! I hope I make you all proud with this piece! *smiles*

Poets Love Story

As you sat close to me
Uttering disgusting sounds of art
Heart cold like a deep freezer
Eyes erotic stanzas that make me read between the lines
I had you in every way and you let me
I felt like his first meal out of jail the way he licked his lips
I wanna run wild
In the power of our breath
N theres no limit to da masterful artistry dat combines our arteries
Your thoughts cant go on without me
My imagination SO beautiful
But who are we when no one is around to listen
I am poetry in motion
Encased in each others mind bendin
And I just love his display
I still dont expect much
Hidden agendas wear no apparent gender
The mind of a poet is the most lethal weapons on the planet
So our spirits collide and we make art on paper until the world cant stand it!

(Last line was mine, for the poets included. I wanted to seal it with an original line from me to make it complete)

Day 47 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-17T23:27:00.002-04:00

In a moment of transition. I can't even articulate my feelings the way I would like to, in order to release so im going to allow the words of Lauryn Hill to speak for me....

My world it moved so fast today
The past it seemed so far away
And life squeezes so tight that I can't breathe
Everytime I've tried to be
What someone else thought of me
So caught up I wasn't able to achieve

But deep in my heart
The answer, it was in me
And I made up my mind
To define my own destiny

I look at my environment
And wonder where the fire went
What happened to everything we used to be
I see so many cry for help
Searching outside of themselves
Now I know the strength within me

Day 46 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-16T19:55:00.002-04:00

So I'm sitting here listening to the cyphers from the BET Awards. Yeah I'm late, I was busy living life that night, anyway, I just wanna say Eminem, Black Thought, and Mos got me hyped up. This piece was written previously but I wanted to post it here because it went with my vibe moreso than anything I've written tonight, so here it is...

Late Night, Early Morning Flow

Scrambled words float among blurry dreams
Ideals become a cohesive thought, conceive sentences,
embryo lines, and at the end of gestation my poems you find
The world is my notebook
I write on you
Share my words in conversation, give my love without hesitation,
box and send my inspiration, and now your pen is wiggling and pacing
I get such a sensation just from word placement
I let my vernacular play in the dark
So when I do spell it I don't have to yell it for you to still see the spark
Im on a late to work flow
Forget breakfast flow
Im gonna lay in the bed and key these words as long as my fingers say so
So they see everything I wanted them to know...flow.
Like a sick addiction im obsessed with diction
Id listen to a poet speak on a peak of a mountain with a view I couldn't even see
Just as long as his words painted a picture vividly
Intimately consumed by this craft
If I say I make love to my pen some of you might laugh
But I caress its hardness as it massages my soft
I let it take control and it gets me off
Planted this seed that's growing in me and im enamored by the tree its growing to be
God bless the person that said id never be a writer
I've got me and myself and I in a cypher
Just trying to make what I say tighter
Pause
This will be one of those abrupt endings that leave you pending
I would be here all day if I kept venting
So enjoy the breeze there will be more of these....

Day 45 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-15T22:17:00.003-04:00

Think of my rapidly approaching move, im excited, thankful, and somewhat sad about the friends that I've made but am leaving behind in VA...but I guess that's life. You meet people, you make an impact on each other, then seasons change...well...this is the basis for this Haiku...

Seasons

Met you in winter
Fell in love with you in fall
Now I will miss you

(Disclaimer:Not my best piece...just trying to stick with the routine nightly...my mind literally went left mid-write....soooo better work in days to come.)

Day 44 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-14T20:12:00.002-04:00

My life is in fast forward right now and this definitely is NOT a complaint, it is a blessing! It's funny how you pray for things and when you start receiving them you truly FEEL the power of God. Anyway, tonight's piece....

Fast Forward

I remember standing still against my will
In a place I hated having to face
My mind seemed to burn with thoughts of where I had possibly made a wrong turn
Then the world stood still
The presence of God came near with assurance that my prayers he did hear
Paths were formed to take me through storms
Doors were opened to opportunities that were supernaturally chosen
Minds began to change
Life was not the same
Speeding past those riding on complacency
Passing intersections of "red light" achievers
It was a blur
When the room ceased to spin
A new life was to begin

Day 43 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-14T20:10:00.002-04:00

Free Verse (short)

"lEt mE bE"

I wanna be the vowel that your words can't live without.
I wanna be the last letter your sentences see.
I wanna be included in every thought.
Because im "E".

Day 42 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-12T23:55:00.002-04:00

Haiku...

Loss for words today
Please, return to me I pray
Syllables astray

Day 41 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-11T21:44:00.002-04:00

Having the dirtiest things on my mind right now, and the inability to get what I want...I write....

Begins With an "H" ends in a "Y"

Clenching my thighs together I squeeze in the arrival of thoughts of you
Mind racing and heart pacing
Ocean begins waving
No him
Not his touch or his kiss
Or even that sexy masculine smell that makes me feel like this
But closing my eyes I can feel his girth
I can grind on his length
I can submit my body to him
He turns me on with his strength
I just want to let him IN
I want us to lustfully enter in
Into the world of ecstasy that only he and I can create
So without movement, a touch, a toy, or a HIM, my thoughts he masturbates.

Day 40 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-10T22:05:00.002-04:00

No prefacing tonight...I just write.

40 Days

Three score and ten more
My minds slave and my pens whore
A journey through words

Day 39 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-09T13:17:00.003-04:00

I have something on my mind and heart I have to get off. It may come across a little harsh but I have to give it how it comes. There is no annimoisty or anger within me regarding this subject but there are some things I have to release today.

I'm about to share some very personal things with you all right now. I'm not even sure if this will be classified as a "poem" but it's my words, from my heart, in no particular format. With that being said, call it what you will.

Dear Anonymously Known Man Who Fathered Me,

I saw your pictures today, and as it appears you are doing well. I wish I had some type of emotion when I layed eyes on you, but there were none. I wanted to let you know some things because if the world went by the story you have told, they wouldn't know that things aren't always what they seem.

First of all, my mother never spoke ill of you or forced me to choose. You made a decision to be absent. So, as I grew I lacked nothing because a man did step up and took care of all the things you were too busy and distant to do. I remember asking about you once or twice. My mother not knowing how to respond, answered gently but never lied.

Whenever you came to get me, which were far and in between, I never really wanted to go. You had a strangers face and lying eyes, which lead me to believe you were a person I didn't need to know. I remember how you never even wished me "happy birthday". Some things kids never forget. And don't say my mother wouldn't let you speak to me, because I'm too mature and intelligent now to believe that shit.

You are the reason men with money don't impress me. Because I received all your checks and money that were void of the LOVE I needed desperately. Thank God for a grandfather that gave what you didn't know how to. I remember how well you treated your girlfriends kids, which backed me in a corner when you offered to have me come visit. So busy with your work, always gone from home. I was your child, your guest, and I was left to roam like I was grown. Thank you for showing me how to survive in the big world when I was just a girl.

I want you to understand for you I have never shed a tear. Tears derive from a place I had too much sense to let you come near. I remember when I called you, reaching out, hoping for some type of break through, and your response to my call was "Ebony who?"...ha!...I laughed when I hung up on you because you had no idea what you'd done. And yet you cry these sob stories to those that don't know you about how you miss your daughters and your son. YOU are the reason for no Father's Day wishes. You failed to be a dad. You deposited sperm in women and switched locale, forgetting that you irresponsibly created a child.

Lastly, I need you to understand, I didn't say this to beat you down, but the silence of your home needed to be broken with these words that will resound. I am doing amazing, and I became a successful woman who understands her worth. A spectacular man raised me, and he didn't make it look so hard. I guess you just weren't built for the job. Now that he's gone, I still never wonder about you, today just sparked some things I needed to allow to come through. Have a nice life, you and your wife, and whatever children you treat as if they're you're own I hope you all have a happy home.

Signed,
The Indifferent "Ebony who?"

(Side note: Much love to all the AMAZING fathers out there who take care of their children. To the ones that do not, your kids NEVER forget! Here I am almost 30 years old and I know and understand everything that went on throughout the years with my father. I don't long for him or even care about him because I don't know him. But understand when you get older and you realize you missed EVERYTHING in your childs life you can't blame anyone but you. Again, much love to the good fathers, I have crazy love for yall!)

Day 38 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-08T21:28:00.002-04:00

I'm feeling "some type of way" tonight. So, this piece is gonna be a little left field, if you don't get it, good. It derives from the twisted-ness of my thoughts right now...

Other Side of Me

Molesting your thoughts
I can do things you know not.
How quickly you let me

Day 37 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-08T21:27:00.001-04:00

Returning from the road trip...another 9 hours and falling asleep on the road. Again, excuse my human nature that made me slack on my routine but I was tired! lol.

Day 36 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-08T21:26:00.001-04:00

I was road tripping for business...9 hours on the road and no sleep equals no inspiration. Sorry. I'm human, lol.

Day 35 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-05T22:01:00.001-04:00

Haiku.....

Same sky and new streets
Newness awaits and life greets
Take a chance on life

Day 34 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-04T21:37:00.002-04:00

Haiku....

Levels of my mind
Incline with life and lessons
Elevator up

Day 33 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-03T20:52:00.006-04:00

I feel super sexy tonight...my mind is going 1,000 miles a minute about so many creative sexual scenarios...I'm gonna attempt to keep it (PG) or (PG-13). Who am I kidding, I'm gonna be full on (RATED-R). Most immature minds wouldnt get this piece anyway, so enjoy grown and sexy people! *winks*

Murder

Cold wind made curtains dance
Sexy silhouettes put eyes in a trance
Weapon of choice is seduction
Motive: enticing mind and sexy baritone voice
Scarlet draped the body if his goddess
Sweat painted the skin of her spartan
Wild beasts fighting in a jungle of lust
She assaulted his member on that day in mid September
Bludgeoned his emotions with her love potion
Stabbed his heart with words he knew not
Drowned his erection in her waves of moaning arrival
Preying Mantis moving to melodies of "Atlantis"
He came and was beheaded from her sexual prowess
He thinking he was king, she proved him to be a novice
Slyly smirking, sun lurking, the queen silently emerging
Leaving him behind; her trophy being his mind.

(c)Ebony Moore-Adams 2011

Day 32 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-02T14:16:00.002-04:00

No prefacing today. Posting early because I'm expanding my mind in many different ways these days so I have to get my word flow out when it comes....

Fatigue Seven

Weary pen and aged paper.
I wish I could create tiny incisions on the arms of my visions and bleed words
Faded lines and dissipated margins.
I wish I could extract thoughts the past brought and make present the future of rhyme
Blurred screens and foreign keyboards.
I wish a post to a group was spoken word and visual connections created an audible cord
Tainted ink and missed links.
I wish sentiments of mine tingled follicles of hair and the idea of my thoughts invaded the air
Tired words and angry verbs.
I wish subliminal messages stood behind courageous chests and the internet beef turned into verbal battles of chiefs
Lazy vernacular of a writer; I call it "verbal abuse."
Mendacity of men portend the tiredness of the pen, the surrender of the paper, the sleep off the laborer, the boredom of the reader, the loss of direction for the seeker
Excerise your stroke, pen, paper, and mind elope.
Breaking free of the monotony that be

Day 31 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-10-01T21:22:00.005-04:00

Missing him....I have changed so many things in my life. I have grown, made mistakes, learned things from people that I never thought would teach me things...through all of that I have lost some people I hold dear, and gained others. In the midst of my circle tranforming, I have managed to miss someone and put myself in the position to miss someone else while they're still in reach. Confusing right?! I know. Welcome to my world, lol. It will only make sense to myself and one other person but I wanted to preface the piece.

Missing Links

Chained to a forever love
Surrendered to an eternal love
They differ because one love was destiny
The other was coincidentally
Meant to be
Half of my being has gone without seeing
Half of my spirit is so close I fear it
Bound by the attentiveness that spoiled me
Imprisoned in the mind that transformed me
Holding hands with my heart
Deciding with which ventrical I will have to part
Needing both to live
To both I give
My charm bracelet of love tells a story not many will understand
Clasp my broken story...if you can.

Day 30

2011-10-01T21:22:00.001-04:00

Drawing inspiration....

Day 29

2011-10-01T21:21:00.000-04:00

No excuses. I'm human. I was tired. No post....

Day 28 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-28T22:10:00.002-04:00

Not much to preface with this one...I'll just let you read...

Clothe Me

Your words stay on my mind, your syllables are my top hat.
My heart I wear as cufflinks on the sleeve of the shirt your emotion manufactured to cover me.
The erectness of my nipples derive from the softness of your touch; your hands on my body cling to me like the pants I wear.
You hug between my legs with your palm.
I walk in the shoes given by my journeys through your mind.
In summer you keep sun rays of broken hearted past from burning my skin.
In winter you give me the warm embrace of a goose down, north face, you replace the chill of loneliness.
Fashionably covered in you; all the fashionistas want a style of love that we carry like tote bags
Covering plain garmets in kisses to jazz up old rags.
Ever since I met "HE"...wardrobe complete!

Day 27 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-28T00:45:00.002-04:00

Tonight is different...I can't classify this as a poem or a style of poetry, these are just my thoughts...

I love it when he welcomes me and doesn't say a word
I admire his ability to only say the meaningful things at the most meaningful times
I hate the way he knows me like no one else
But I lived my whole life to meet someone with his honesty
I can be me when im with him, sweat pants and hair wrapped, no makeup and lips chapped and he still tells me im beautiful
I love how he kisses my flaws
I love how I fall into his eyes
When he gets close to me I randomly notice how we breathe the same pattern
We share the same thoughts
We laugh the same laugh
I fell into him and he fell into me in a scenario where we were never meant to be
Now....I'm in love in a never ending love
Tested love
Distant and close love
Forever.

Day 26 "Poem A Day Project"

2011-09-26T23:52:00.002-04:00

I said I would perfect the Abecedarian, and I'm working on it...so, here's another one! Double Abecedarian

Paint A Picture of Love

Anticipation of loves pollenation, my soul is the flower to his beez
Bellwether to the act of building, the contruction of this foundation isnt easy
Carnivourously devouring emotion which opens my mind in a way that will elude to sex
Determined to have your presence in my world, for you I bend like a bow
Effortlessly you love me, creating a love theory, my pavlov
Figuratively we're perfect, our world engineered to compliment me and U
God planted the seed and we grew from kiss, the first
Humbly I receive this euphoric feeling of happiness
Instinctly I battle thoughts of fear
Just in time, Im comforted by trust, love bounce back, NASDAQ
Killing memories of my past when love didnt last, the purity of our relationship makes hearbeats stop
Linguist use lines and rhymes from minds before our time to define us, cento
Making loyalty solidify, from infidelity we abstain
Naik of romance, his words make me cum
Orgasm with spiritual interaction, elevated to another level
Passionately alive, never knew living in a world of elation would have such a kick
Ready to give you all of me, not partially, or semi
Saturated in us, you, and we, my mind you ambush
Tastefully making a space in my centermost place, my heart was always yours for the taking
Uniquely enticing my senses, you invented new ways to mind-sex-ing-ly get me off
Victoriously breaking down my walls with your sincerity, I with ease allow love to be
Walk with me on this journey that we light a path for the future that will never go dead
Xperience all I have to give as we perpetually give to each other in a way opposite of cabalistic
You painted a new picture of love for a mind with no canvas to see, comfortably viewing your illustrative piece; passenger in your cab
Zestfully basking in loves charisma

Day 25 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-25T18:19:00.002-04:00

Let me set the scene for you so that I may drag you into my world at the present time. Sitting in front of my computer, in the dark, music loud, the computer screen illuminating my face as I ponder words layed on melodies...

What am I listening to? Cee-lo
Why am I in the dark? I want to feel like all I have is this music and these words.
What do I feel? A sense of excitement.

Whenever I'm alone with my thoughts in a pleasant mood I find myself excited. So many things run through my mind, and so many things about life intrigues me. I end up researching something that has no relevance to anything specific, I just like knowing things for general knowledge sometime. IQ increasing things. I sometime feel I should have been a psych major. Tonight, I find myself studying the mind. Did you know that there are over 400 different mental disorders? LOL. I'm sorry I find that comical because with this being said, we ALL have at experienced at least one...think not? Bereavement. That is considered a mental disorder. How you love that?!....well, with that being said, the free verse for tonight....

CRAZY

Colorful shapes and images dance in the forefront of darkness.
The breath that moves my chest becomes lazy.
The moist, warm, heat expelled from my nostrils faintly fills the immediate space in front of my face.
Soon my thoughts overtake what some called sanity.
I dwell in the vanity of being nonchalant.
Staring in a mirror reflecting things I'm afraid to speak.
Loosing some things I have no intention to again seek.
Feeling so free mentally.
Don't peer too deep into my eyes or you may become me.
An uneasy giggle frightens my conscience.
A silent side eye illustrates the disturbia in the atmosphere.
Insomnia greets me.
Bereavement for the person that was.
Worries disspiate into the air and dance with the nicotine puffs that my lungs no longer choose to embrace.
Illusive intoxication.
Knowing too much drives minds over edges of cliffs that makes souls stiff.
Handicapping the ability to passively live.
Often wondering what this place would feel like.
Now knowing, I choose to loose.
Hugging myself.
Shielded from danger.
But dangerously alone with my mind.
No sense of time.
No one can save me from a feeling so sublime.
All the while, it all seemed like a dream.
Pick a letter from A to Z and I will walk you into the darkness of a mental disorder you share with me.

(Disclaimer: I know the church people and probably even my sister, think I am on one right now. I'm still in my right mind thank God. I just wanted to write something different, to play with my mind and in turn play with yours. As you read things you inadvertently place yourself in the moment of the things being described to you. I just wanted all of us to walk a place that we (hopefully) have never been for real.)

Randomness

2011-09-24T20:42:00.002-04:00

I have been writing off and on all day. I have been studying oceanography and learning about new poety forms, embracing me, reflecting on life, love, and lessons learned. I have a really good vibe going right now. I feel so alive. At times in my life I felt like I was wasting time or not really sure what it was I was supposed to be doing, but right now in this moment, I feel I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I feel God has me still, soaking up what I need to propel me forward in his plans for my life. I live with a sense of expectation and anticipation for my prayers being answered...prayers that were prayed years ago even. So, mark my words on this day I say "THANK YOU JESUS" for all the things I believe you are about to do! So many people around me are growing, evolving, becoming better people, and perfecting their craft its inspiring and exciting. I love to see people doing well and fulfilling their purpose. My sister just finished school and is a certified cosmetologist (if I got your official title wrong forgive me Toy, lol) but whatever it is, she made it damnit! And I'm so proud of her. This is a random piece that just came to mind as I was typing all this and vibing to my music...

Alive!

I walked out of the quicksand the past used to pull me away from destiny
I crossed the barren lands of mistakes made and lessons learned with a full stomach
Footsteps like beating drums, trampling doubt, defeat, and fear.
My stride, of God given confidence
My spirit light and free like the aroma of sweet incense
I carry my heart in hand to make my loving intent evident
I pull the world behind me as I speak to my future with the fiercest voice of exellence
My resiliency with clothe me when times get tough
Sand paper skin when failure gets a little rough
I will fall a million times with the strength I have been given to GET UP
I posess a crippling depth of emotion, but pain is nothing when God is your crutch
Everything about me is and will be perfected according to no will of my own
As I age, I seek wisdom and understanding, and in time these skills I will hone

Day 24 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-24T18:31:00.003-04:00

Today, I have been all over the place mentally. I found myself learning new things about organisms of the ocean. I have a weird and ongoing love for oceanography. I'm afraid of most of the beings in the ocean but I think they're beautiful and amazing. I love going to aquariums and just spending time at the beach soaking in the sounds of the water. I am infatuated with Jellyfish. I think the way that they look is so captivating. I could literally watch them swin for hours. As I was researching things about them I found out they've been around for about 500 million years...that was NOT a typo, 500 MILLION years. Amazing right? Well my free verse today was inspired by the jellyfish...enjoy!

A Sting of Beauty

Transparently I swim
No destination
No anticipation
Captivating eyes with hues of blues, oranges, and white
I kiss with poison in the dark of the night
My carnivorous ways dissipate in my translucent sways
My name, a misnomer
My life as a loner
Destined to breathe only 3 score of the life you see
Still, nonchalantly I will be
In ocean or by sea

Day 23 "Poem A Day" Project (a day late but never a dollar short)

2011-09-24T17:50:00.004-04:00

The Double Abecedarian

An abecedarian is a form of poetry that is structured in a way that the beginning of each line will display the alphabet from A to Z. A double abecedarian is structured in a way that the beginning of each line is the alphabet from A to Z and the last letter in each line is the alphabet from Z to A. When I was first introduced to this form of poetry I remember my classmates in my writing class displaying a face of overwhelming challenge. I was excited. I wanted to master this form, and I will one day...still perfecting my ability to effectively write an abecedarian and create a cohesive poem at the same time. That is the most challenging part of tis form of poetry.

A few little known facts about the abecedarian form, the earliest examples of the abecedarian are found in the Hebrew Bible. There you will find 22-line stanzas in the ABC (abecedarian format)in Psalm 118. I found this EXTREMELY interesting and this also piqued my interest in finding more poetry in the Bible and there is actually a lot of poetry found in the Bible. More examples in days to come.

Well known poets that have used the Abecedarian form include: Edward Lear, Geoffrey Chaucer, and Inger Christensen to name a few (look them up).

And below is my first abecedarian poem....

Ex-Factor

Always on my mind, getting rid of you isnt e-z
Bordering upset and insane my heart asking y?
Call from my emotions stated they've exited with my x
Don't forget the tears from emotions being rubbed raw
End of an era, all unspoken words have been shipped to Tel Aviv
Fortune cookies said life awaits me, I choose to take that journey without u
Great times we've shared but we've somehow never learned to trust
Heartaches
I let my love for you soar
Just in time I regained my right mind, so this would be your Q
Keep the change, no reply necessary, I dont want to hear a peep
Lustfully licking my lips as I tell you to "go!"
Meanwhile, I refuse to allow my smile to turn upside down
Nonchalant about our journey's path going dim
Oppulence of pain digs in like a shovel
Putting those emotions aside, their aura is thick
Quietly maneuvering beyond the past a sad, slow, record spinning...loves dj
Reciting positive montras, channeling the peace of Ghandi
Surreal situations make it hard to get through
Transitioning from viewing a perfect prince to an untruthful frog
Understand, on my word I stand stiff
Vicariously living through the
World I imagined that we'd share, a world we never had
Xamine me and detect my sincerity, look and you will C
You will miss the loyalty I carried like a boss in the mob
Zenith tv from 1976, consider me extinct...A??!

Day 22 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-22T22:49:00.002-04:00

Haiku....

Sleep kisses my eyes
My dreams come as no surprise
Eyelids of future

Day 21 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-21T20:49:00.003-04:00

I'm in a comical mood right now, so this piece was inspired by my buddy who keeps me laughing and makes hard days a little lighter....

Deez

Carry your immature four letter word vocabulary having, 30-something and your pants still sagging, take a condescending remark to the face and your simple ass still laughing, lifting bricks like weights but too weak to pick up a book, tote guns like an arsenal but mentally and intellectually shook...

Carry your argue on Verizon anytime, playing a 97 Jay-Z line in rewind in your mind, trying to prove a point that you can't even search and find, no conversation giving, a female's "rabbit" does better sticking, the world has to have better pickins'....

Than this....

PLEASE, carry your "I invented the game" "my lines are not the same" can't even make your emotions plain, be the first to have a heart slain, by a chick that rocked the dick, left it slick, then sent you home to the mis-tress, the one that you got in a feeble attempt to diss a REAL MIS-SES...

OMG! Carry your rims cost more than your car, cant fill up your gas tank because "I'm not really going that far", LEASE a Benz because you seen it on 106th and Park, skinny jeans in the back of your closet, trying rock a nut in each pocket, walking in pain like Davey Crockett.....

YES! Carry your dumb ass decision making, burning my turkey bacon, never opened a good bottle of wine, uncultured, unworldly ass, that a real woman has to explain overseas concepts in real time...

Carry your I'm reading this getting pissed, "I know this chick didn't say all this", silently feeling my jabs to the throat, change the game quickly so you can get more of the female vote, searching a Drake track trying to say something dope, internet hustling, hoe cuffin', wouldn't know a lady if she etch-a-sketched a picture of herself on the inside of your eye lid, never touched white but swear you did a bid, no one left you the memo that "thugs" went out in 96?...

Carry your dumb ass decision making, burning my turkey bacon, never opened a good bottle of wine, uncultured, unworldly ass, that a real woman has to explain overseas concepts in real time, just to penetrate the weed smoke and get you to respond in a real English word, sometime...

Carry your learning with "my baby read", thinking you can get deeper than me, life is a competition, crabs in a barrell vision, everyone is a hater, no dream having, no goal pursuing, waste of some sexy lips because you never say shit, blind to the reality that you can be better than this....

But somethings, some men will never see, so the next time you ask for a chicks number and this is what you're bringing to the table dont be mad if she tells you, "Call DEEZ" LMAO

(Disclaimer: I am in no way upset or feeling any type of way about anyone at this point, I thought all of the things I mentioned was realistically funny, and I needed a laugh. If you were offended by any of this, I make no apologies, just step your game up but I wasnt aiming for anyone specific, just having fun.) ;)

Day 20 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-21T01:03:00.003-04:00

Just read...lemme know how you feel/interpret when you're done

Venom in salt rimmed glasses
Expose asses thick as molasses
Eyes of envy, lust, and deception turn bright reds after slow passes
Devils drums evoke body movements to entice empty emotion from open minds
Time moves in rewind
From slanted eyes
Vomit scented lies
Routines addictive that the body grows to despise
Dead men painted green become the heart of every scene
Fast wheels peel through streets and still...
Stop for every light bright or midnight sight
With jeans worn right or body on tight
Or man with keys
And smiles with ease
SA-dam and Ga-more-a ...her
High from the shine of things
Lost
Hollow in between
The place where cavities protect
Somewhere below the neck
Can you survive?
Living and no longer alive
OPEN YOUR EYES

(Disclaimer: I accept the fact that maybe none of you will get this or interpret it as I visioned it but I had to put this out.)

Day 19 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-19T18:07:00.005-04:00

I have just lived 5 of the best days of my life. I received joy from so many directions and was taken to so many places. Physically and emotionally. I had to attempt to compile all that before I attempted to sit down and write tonight. I hope you enjoy this free verse....

Untitled

Digging a hole 7ft deep
God buried the boy
Who turned into the seed
That grew the MAN
That stood before me
His scent somewhat familiar
Reminscent of a time past
Touch, all encompassing
Body made of glass
Trasparently lovely
Truthfully loving me
Wanting to touch
Afraid of getting cut
Closing my eyes
His arms engulfed me
Swirling around in the sweetest words
I felt the emotion I had not yet spoken
The feeling I needed
The confirmation succeeded

Day 18 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-19T18:07:00.002-04:00

On this day, I was emersed in love...drawing inspiration...lost in happiness...

Day 17 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-17T09:15:00.002-04:00

Before I say anything poetry related today is my mothers birthday. We have our ups and downs and some days we don't share as many words but I love her with all my heart. Also, im really proud of myself today if no one else is because I have literally been celebrating my birthday for 3 days now, but I also was determined to stick with this writing project. Some days I may post a little later but I've drawn inspiration from so many places lately, what better way to express that than here....today is another Haiku day. Less is more sometime, you know?

Give my open heart
When I know emotion not
All for poetry

Day 16 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-16T09:53:00.002-04:00

Im not going to preface this piece because its literally off the top of my head...freestyle/free verse type vibe...

Birthday

Im riding the wind
Gliding on what I call my leaf
Very close to three scores
Experience and mind deem me to be more
The closed doors and open windows enable life's lessons
The smiley faces and broken hearts puts bystanders in rightful places
Mentally immortal
Spiritual fertile
Birthing a million seeds in the eyes of the people what have watched me grow into my level of maturity
Travel with me, through the months that proceed
Experience with me the becoming of what I was intended to be.

Day 15 "Poem A Day" Project (My personal New Year)

2011-09-16T09:51:00.001-04:00

Sorry but this is the one day I had to take "off" in celebration of my birthday....Day 16 on the way though!

Day 14 "Poem A Day" Project (My Personal New Years Eve)

2011-09-14T21:43:00.002-04:00

In less than three hours I will be a year older and wiser....right now its party time! This piece in celebration of my own personal New Years Eve aka Birthday Eve aka my 5 day celebration...

Stiletto standing
Your city I am branding.
Making memories

Day 13 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-14T00:01:00.001-04:00

Haiku....

Stolen moments, you
Give so much to hold onto.
Hearts will never leave

Day 12 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-12T22:27:00.002-04:00

This piece is very close to my heart because it was written with my sister in mind. I won't go into too much detail about it's basis but just understand that I meant every line...

I felt like I was watching a train wreck and you were the only one that would loose their life
I felt like the slow violins that signaled your tears came to drown me in my sleep every night
I felt like all the things you kept silent were the words that left a vile taste of blood in my mouth
Like a bitten tongue
Or a cracked tooth
I felt like giving you my heart just to help withstand the impact of fate
I felt like giving you the biggest hug and transferring my strength
I felt like painting your murial so that every emotional thief could see your loving intent
I felt like creating an earthquake to break apart the cemented pain that caused your body to shake
Mental debate
Self evaluate
I felt like ending the internal quiz with the answer it isnt you it's him
I felt like taking the book of your life's path, giving it to God, and sealing it in his direction so that you never get hurt again
I felt like I love you that much, that the things I've gone through I never even wanted your eyes to touch
But it did
And I slid
Into the only thing I knew to let you know that I am here for whatever it is you go through
I love you.

Day 11 "Poem A Day" Project (9-11 Tribute)

2011-09-11T10:00:00.012-04:00

My heart still goes out to those families who lost loved ones on 9-11 ten years ago today. I don't feel it necessary to speak of what I was doing at the time of the worse 102 minutes America faced because I feel, what I was doing, and how I felt is NOTHING compared to those who were there, in the areas, or lost family. My piece
today is in rememberance of 9-11....

For 200 years my brown hue has had no reason to fade
For the last 199 years I have given clean air to the shade
My feet can't be moved as some of yours do
My arms extend in an appreciation for life that would make most minds think twice
My head reaches heights necks cramp to see
My eyes are non-existent however I often entice optically
I carry a pain that will never go away
I wear words etched on me from pencils number 2 and graffiti blue
I smell of piss
I hold homeless sleeping heads; give dreams of bliss
I'm cut on, cut down, and sometime cut off, but I still come back around
I am unshakeable when the world is in peril
When tears made roads down ash covered faces
I held my ground like I personally built NY in stages
When blood washed away my urine scent and replaced it with death
I still held my arms out in hopes of shielding the lives that were left
When metal pieces dropped like rain
When men and women screamed alike in pain
When humans ran as tragedy began
My family and I did all that we can
I was one of the last survivors that horrible day
And 200 more years from now your mind will replay the words I say
Tall
Strong
Protective
Me
Had no visionary speak from the view I had to see....

For those who didnt get the concept of this, I told the story of the WTC through the eyes/vision of how I feel a tree would have seen it/experienced it. We often hear how afraid and traumatized PEOPLE were that day, but how awful would it have been to experience that as an OBJECT that couldnt run or cry or pray on that day? I hope you enjoyed this.

Day 10 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-10T11:52:00.002-04:00

I know that this is much earlier than I usually post and somewhere in the coming days I will go back to my original plan to post at 9:15pm daily. As for right now though, I need to simply train myself to consistently post EVERYDAY no matter what. Discipline is something that I have, but I have been lazy about many things for too long, so I'm getting "me" back.

The inspiration for this piece is an experience I had once, at my favorite place, the beach, and somewhat of a continuation of the Haiku from last night. The tone is going to be sexual because the experience was sexually charged. I don't usually post sexual pieces because I like to explore other emotions/feelings more often. So, to switch it up for those who do NOT know this side of my poetry, here goes...

Beach Date (the continuation)

The sand swallowed our footsteps on our journey
to be closer to the shore

I attempted to walk with you but I enjoyed having you
watch me walk more

I wanted the jiggle of my posterior to captivate
you

I wanted the wind to blow the aroma of my sexual
tension past your nose

I wanted you to harden when visualizing your hands
manipulating the folds of my "rose"

And we stop

Seconds from the ocean

Engulfed in the sound of the waves

The moonlight perfectly illuminating our encounter

You stand behind me, your heart beating drum notes
of your attraction on my shoulder

Your breath enticing my neck

Your whisper has me anticipating what will happen
next

Gentle kisses to my neck followed by lustful bites
to my ear

Your hand making its way to the front of my body,
between heated thighs, where my ocean tides

I remember closing my eyes

Throwing my head back on your shoulder, reaching my
arm around to caress the side of your face

I can't even remember where we are right now, my
soul reminded me this is the purest place

Two fingers strum my pearl like you somewhere in life
played the bass

Peeping at you periodically, with intent you study
my face

Wetness penetrates the lace thats keeping your fingers
from entering my loves hole

Moaning for you, wanting you, immensely enjoying your
control

You have my body at your mercy, from the fingertips
of your right hand

Everything in me, wants you inside me...while we...
make sex angels in the sand

You sternly tell me to undress, left hand pinching
my breast

Afraid this will end if I dont comply, slightly wanting
to ask why

You answer before my lips part "I want to see your
body in the moonlight of the dark"

The flimsy dress falls to the sand

I stop feeling your hand

You study me like GEOGRAPHY then ravish me NATIONAL-LY

Spectators cant turn the channel, the distant audience
channels the inner animal, in me

In me, in me, in me you cum, after thrusts from which I've learned
not to run

What we began in the moonlight now welcomed the sun

Sandy me, and rejuvinated he retraced our footsteps
and left the beach.

Day 9 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-10T01:52:00.002-04:00

Haiku....

The moon didn't blink
Crashing of waves didn't cease.
My ocean flowed free

Day 8 "Poem a Day" Project

2011-09-08T21:49:00.003-04:00

Here goes, take it for what its worth.....

Untitled

Here I speak, in gasps that feel like my last breath,
There I go making that hard right when everything tells me to go left,
Here I go scrambling words, making minds curve
EREHT I OG GNIYALP HTIW A DEES I DETNALP
There I go loosing some people because I did what you didn't expect
Here I go living in a minute not caring what happens next
There I go letting my poetry almost allow me to speak too intimately
Here you go thinking you know me
There I go walking through your mind because you wanted to see what I'd write
Here I go finding the next exit, leaving something with you to miss me tonight

Day 7 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-07T22:02:00.003-04:00

First of all, today being the 7th excites me. Seven is my favorite number. And through shared knowledge and acquired knowledge of my own I learned some things. Seven of course by Christian faith is a blessed number, but I also learned that seven is very meaningful in other faiths such as Hinduism, Islamic, and Judaism (look it up). The month of September has a birthstone of the sapphire, which signifies clear thinking. September derives from the Roman word septem, which also means SEVEN. All of these things I found really interesting about my birthday month so I thought I would share that with some of you who are September babies! *winks* Now, onto the basis for my free verse tonight....

I was driving this evening, and ironically the best inspiration comes when I am alone, in my car, or in my room, music loud, just vibing. Today was I listening to all instrumentals, 2Cellos to be exact (thats the name of the group and they're dope to me, you should listen). I ran through a million thoughts in my mind, and when the words settled this is what came.

Play Me

Stroking my emotional strings like violins
I resonate your sentiments for the masses of upper classes that view us in awe
Caress my Ebony tuning pegs
I stand slanted, your body erect
Parallel to the beat of your heart
Music notes in your eye
Plucking cords to make melodies of what was once called noise
I became a part of your hand
And you gave meaning to my wood
The hollow center that once screamed silence
My body is your Fingerboard
Time, my end stopper
You made love to ears with my F Hole
Brought couples back together on my Bridge
Forever play me, only when you play me do I live.

Day 6 "Poetry A Day" Project

2011-09-06T22:46:00.002-04:00

Free verse...I was at an inspirational loss when one of best friends gave me this idea. I chose to write this piece outside of my comfort zone and (attempt) to speak from the mind of a child. I felt this was a fitting piece for today, it being the first day of school in my area....Enjoy!

First Day of School

Fear of the unknown
I wish I was "grown"
So that I could use the big words I've often heard
To tell my future how I felt on this day
To be grateful to my mother for all the things which she single-handedly had to pay
The outfit I stared at all night while the time moved like molasses
The shoes NO ONE has, so eyes lock on me walking to my classes
OHH MY GOD!
Stomach in knots
Mind charging at full speed
Wondering if all my old friends will be as accepting of me
New friendships, maybe?
Until they steal my candy
I hope I can close my eyes and finally go to sleep
And stop pretending I'm snoring when mommy opens my door to peep
Adults have it easy
This first day of school stuff is rough on me!

Day 5 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-05T21:38:00.001-04:00

I posted this free verse earlier on Facebook because I just couldnt keep it to myself lol...Enjoy!

Death of a Word

Conceived in the mind
Spending seconds of gestation slowly moving through the plastic of this BIC
Pen
Birthed onto lines, thin
Massaged onto the pure white linens of pages
Verbal vision being raised in stages
Pause
A second thought
I brought a word into this world from my mind that I now choose to know not
Scribbling out the syllables which I now call a mistake
Death of a word takes place

Day 4 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-04T22:17:00.002-04:00

Ok, so the 9:15pm concept isn't forgotten its just harder for me on the weekends when I have other things going on. Also, I have to admit I'm a little lazy with the research this weekend, but at least I'm dedicated to posting something, at some point, each day. Tonight is another Free Verse moment. Usually this is the form of poetry I enjoy writing the most because I dont have to focus so much on structure. I love being able to channel my thoughts and just let them flow.

This piece was written months ago, when I was feeling a little depressed. I was missing the man I loved and I wasnt hearing from here when I wanted to, and I simply felt alone...hence the title. Enjoy!

Alone

This is what alone feels like.
Silence bouncing off the walls.
I've run out of thoughts to keep me company.
My blankets no longer retain warmth.
My pillow no longer holds my head.
Almost embarrased by the sadness that befalls me.
Dry tears burn my cheeks.
Alone I no longer want to be.
Text messages, no replies.
Reading the surreal reality of what my life has become without you burns my eyes.
From the inside.
I feel sick.
I never wanted to be like this.
Pseudo happiness at this moment I display to the world.

Day 3 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-03T21:26:00.002-04:00

Tonight's form of poetry is called Free Verse. This is a form of poem that does not use any of the traditional or structured forms of poetry that you may find. It's name is literally what it means. In free verse you have the freedom to write in any format you would like, expressing yourself in any way imaginable....and now, my free verse....

The Pre-Dream

Closing my eyes feel like the blanketed warmth of your arms
The rise and fall of my chect slows as the aroma of loves rose fills my nose
Lips crack from the silent black, of the room, that lacks you
Thoughts trail off to nothing, emotion keeps running
My pillow asks, "still?" my heart answers, "always will".

Day 2 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-02T22:32:00.003-04:00

Todays form is a "Haiku". A Haiku is another form of Japanese poetry that follows a 5-7-5 format. The first line being 5 syllables, the second line 7 syllables, and the third line 5 syllables. Three main characteristics of a Haiku are syllables totalling 17 syllable, the use of a "kigo" or season word, and the use of a cut (or punctuation mark.) So, now, my original Haiku...

Sandman

He sprinkles my dreams
Seasons my intimate thoughts.
Pours love onto me

Day 1 "Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-01T20:16:00.003-04:00

Honestly, I was feeling a little overwhelmed when I started researching for this project. Have you seen the glow in a childs eyes in the middle of a candy store when they can choose whatever they want? That sweethearts was how I felt when I started researching. So much information, so many forms, so many cultures contributed to this art form called poetry, and I am taking a year to explore them all. I'm excited! When you find one thing that you truly love in life, or have already embraced the one thing in life that you love, then you know what I mean.

The form of poetry I chose to use tonight is called "Tanka". Tanka is a form of Japanese poetry that is structured in a 5-7-5-7-7 pattern. There is supposed to be a slight shift in tone of the subject matter from the beginning 5-7-5 lines and the last two lines of 7-7. Tanka emerged at a time where Japan was trying to break free from the poetry forms of Chinese culture. This was my reasoning for beginning the project with a Tanka. I feel that I am in a period of transition and growth. The origin of the Tanka inspired me. So, here's my original Tanka....

My Walk

Never breaking stride
Intensely blinking my eyes
Contagiously smile
Heart beats earthquakes through my feet
Walk the path called DESTINY

Again, I welcome all comments, critiques, and support. If I happen to inspire you at all in the next 365 days of this project, PLEASE share that with me, because you all inspire me! ;)

"Poem A Day" Project

2011-09-01T15:40:00.003-04:00

This is inspired by many things but the idea came from my previous writing instructor (Luisa Igloria). Also, I am in love with my craft more so now that ever. I would like to explore different types of poetry to express my emotion, as well as enhance my skills, and get my creative juices flowing. So, heres the details, every night at 9:15pm I will post a poem here. I will explain a little about what inspired the piece, a little history on the form of poetry I am using, and then the actual poem will follow. I hope that this also inspires some of my fellow writers. Please do post comments, critiques, or even follow up pieces to what I have written if inspired to do so. Tonight kicks it off, and I will continue the project every night at 9:15pm for 365 days. I chose the time 9:15pm because of my birthday, for those of you that arent aware my birthday is September 15th. I chose to include you all for a reason, so your feedback will be greatly appreciated! *winkz*

Side note: I know that if I have people anticipating something from me it will keep me focused on it, which is another reason why I chose to share this project. My personal truth, I am the worse at sticking to a daily routine. Even my daily routine isnt the same routine (if that makes sense) lol.

EARN it!

2011-06-22T20:40:00.003-04:00

(Disclaimer: The following comments will be spoken without regard to censorship)

So, I had this random though...if women had to earn their vagina rather than being given it at birth I really believe females wouldn't give it out so freely. This is not gonna be the typical, value your body, you're worth more than that lecture. I strongly believe that some promiscuous women value their bodies they just love sex. There is a difference between low self esteem sex and nymphs sex. I personally love sex, but I will not be handing my vagina out like movie tickets to any man that wants it. That's the difference. And frankly when you give up your jayjay to everyone regardless of how many kegels you do you will loose your "muscular abilities" if you know what I mean. So while your no wall having ass is still trying to give it up your smut buddy has moved on to the next one. Point is, ladies, know the difference between low self esteem sex and nymphs sex and act like you had to earn your vagina and not like you'll get a new one later in life.

Men I didn't forget about you! Don't think this is directed only to women. Some of you sling wood like the world is gonna end tomorrow and you must sew your royal oats in order to keep America going. Smh, no honeybun. So listen, REAL women don't want a whorish man any more than REAL men don't want a whorish woman. We may sleep with you, but as soon as we're done we can make you disposable, but that's when weak men wanna fall in love. Lmao@thatshit!...if your stroke game is on ONE TRILLION it looses its value after we've talked about you in the salon all day. So save that for women that you wanna invest time into. Make your sex something a woman has to earn with either her mental ability or how she makes you feel. Real talk sex is too easy to come by for both men and women, so at some point, for some encounters at least, there has to be standards.

Ok, I know all this was random as hell, but don't confuse my stern statements w/anger. Im cool as a fan right now, I just felt like addressing this. Now, god bless and goodnight *Russell Simmons voice*

Dream

2011-06-22T13:39:00.003-04:00

Last night I had a weird dream. I was back in the Army and was deployed to Iraq. I was one of the Marines that happened to be assigned to kill several terrorist. I was on the front lines and one of the first people to enter the terrorist compound. I was in full battle gear and armed but when I looked behind me my entire squad was unarmed, dressed inappropriately, and not even focused on the mission. There was only one man in front me and as soon as he kicked the door to the compound open, I then realized I was alone in this battle. Now, most people would say that this is just a dream, but NONE of my dreams are just dreams. They all have subliminal messages either to warn me of something or prepare me for something that is to come, but never JUST a dream.

What I feel in my heart the meaning of the dream was is very simple. At times in my life I have to face things completely alone in the physical sense and rely completely on my spiritual strength. The man that was before me, although he didnt look like the image we associate with God, I feel thats who he was. The fact that no one with me was prepared or even aware of the things going on illustrated my focus on things and the lack thereof with some in my life. I am constantly revamping my circle of friends and clinging to people who will only enahance who I am trying to become. I think its about time for me to re-evaluate everyone and do what I need to do for me. I am a strong believer that we are only as strong as the weakest person in our lives. Strength is great but if you spend most of your energy being everyone elses strength how strong can you remain???

New doors, same house....

2011-06-21T21:08:00.002-04:00

I wanna start by saying I've been robbing myself of the ability to express my day to day emotions (outside of my poetry and conversation with loved ones) in a way that I don't have to filter what I feel. Facebook has several people that watch my words that out of respect for their religion or relationship to me I keep my statements PG. Twitter wants to limit my characters, but here...its all me. I would love for the world to find interest in my words, but honestly I do all this as therapy for ME. If I happen to inspire along the way, great. But my intentions however is to just share me with you.

Now, over the past however long its been since my last entry many opportunities have been presented to me to potentially make major moves in my life if I put hard work and dedication into it. Its no secret that writing is my passion but I've never been this driven to perfect my craft and manifest new dreams of bringing my words to the world. I said all that to say this. We all have so much locked inside that us that can and will be released at the right time to make it properly flourish. Three years ago I wouldn't have been this focused but im hungry for it now, I've matured now, I've gained more wisdom, and more importantly god has brought people into my life that were intended to aid and encourage me on my journey. So be careful who you come in contact with that person could be a blessing or the one intended to TRY and deter you from reaching your full potential...

Ahhh (exhale)

2011-03-08T09:34:00.002-05:00

So, it's been almost a year since my last post. My intentions were to use this blog as method to vent without the bounceback of the opinions and facial expressions normal conversation usually brings. Well, I failed at that plan, simply because even the things I say in honesty online is filtered and watered down from my actual thoughts. NO ONE knows everything I feel but God, and even with God sometime I'm uneasy praying about how I truly feel, its a good thing that he knows already. Now, that was some honesty for your ass! Its not that I lie to myself or attempt to lie to God. At times hearing the feelings I harbor come out of my mouth make me cringe at the realization of my love, my hurt, my everything. Writing becomes my escape.

My heart....my heart is definitely the strongest muscle in/on my body. My heart is exercised more than the mouth a speak through, the eyes I blink, the lungs that enable me to breathe, the legs that move my feet. I dont even have time to explain the meaning behind that but if you peer deep enough its already been put out there. And still, I love. My obsession, my main source of hurt, my main source of joy is love. Not necessarily love from a person, sometime just loving and embracing me. Anyway, before I get TOO deep. I'm gonna end this entry for now. My "plan" is to post regularly again, because right now, I need an outlet, an avenue, a something like this to be expressive. Bless!

LIFE. LIVE. APPRECIATE IT

2010-09-22T20:38:00.002-04:00

Today on my lunch break I was doing my usual, eating like a piglet and talking on the phone, and I get the most disturbing text I ever could get. My mother got into an accident, and despite what was going on around me my world STOPPED completely and I thought about what I would do, or if I would even keep breathing to live myself if I didnt have her. I called her cell, still in tears, just wanting to hear her voice. Being the strong woman she is (and knowing how I over-react a lot, lol) she answered calmly saying "hey baby, I'm ok, they're taking me into the ER now. My car is totalled, but calm down ok." Knowing my mom that made me cry even harder because I know that if she would have been on her death bed she would have sounded the same way. She would have spoken in the same serene tone of voice, and she still would have made sure I was ok and calm. Thankfully, it wasnt as bad as I thought. I drove an hour to where she was taken to the hospital and saw her sitting there only with a brace on her wrist and gauze/ice covering her knee. I hugged her like I just met her and would never see her again all in one. And we cried, together.

Listen, I dont always appreciate life myself. I complain a lot, I worry sometime, and I stress things that cant be changed and chase things I should just let leave, but TODAY put things into perspective on a bigger canvas. Enjoy life, enjoy the things and people that make you happy, and do everything everyday as if you'll never get to do anything at all ever again.

If you are going through a bad breakup, let that person go. You cant make someone appreciate you or see the good in what they had. Dont weigh yourself down with unneccessary unhappiness when opportunites for peace and enjoyment are around you. If you are stressed, worried, or even in limbo about things in life, let that crap go, live for the moment. Everything falls into place in time. You can only do what you're able to TODAY, tomorrow isnt promised.

With that said, I'm going to make sure the woman who brought me into this world is as happy as she possibly can be before she leaves it, and if you a relative, friend, business associate, or even acquaintance, I'm gonna try my best to make sure you're the happiest you can be when you're around me as well because I'm definitely going to enjoy my life, with or without YOU.

Besos!

My Personal New Years Day (aka Birthday)

2010-09-16T14:40:00.003-04:00

It has been ages ago since my last post. Funny how it took 3 months, several trials of life, and a trip out of town to clear my head enough to post something here. Looking at the date of the last post I thnk back...only days after that I ended a long term relationship and walked into TRUE happiness and fulfillment in my life. I became free, I became uncompromised, and I tuned into myself.

Yesterday and for the next 3-days I'm celebrating life. I was blessed to see another year, better known as my birthday, and in my opinion as long as you're getting older you're not dead. Lol. I love growing older because I'm also growing wiser. I am a woman who can look back on days past and say, I remember when I felt that way, did those things, went through those obstacles. However, from all those things it molded who you see before you today.

I'm going to make this short because I am out of town but had a moment alone with my thoughts and thought that I would post, considering I've been neglecting those of you that actually care about what I have to say. Enjoy your weekend, and your life in general. Besos!

Happy Fathers Day/My Greatest FEAR

2010-06-20T09:57:00.003-04:00

First of all I wanna wish all the fathers and single mothers who are both parents a very HAPPY FATHERS DAY. (winks)

Now I wanna share with you another of my lifes lessons. Recently I have been going through some things in regards to material possessions which affected my decision making and thought processes in regards to my priorities and short term goals. The first thing I realized was that now matter how long ago you prayed a prayer God never forgets what you asked for and he also knows the BEST way to get you to reach the desires of your heart. What I learned is in order to receive a lot of (if not all) of the things you want you have to be prepared mentally, spiritually, and emotionally to recieve it. God has a plan for our lives and of course we make our own plans for our lives...thats human nature. But when our plan doesnt correspond with Gods plan thats when it seems bad things happen. In reality, thats when great things happen because his plan is always bigger than any plan we can create for ourselves.

Over the past few weeks, I have gotten turned down for things I set out to get approved for, I was unable to buy/use things I thought I should have had, I was stressed, upset, confused, and sometime felt helpless with the things going on around me. Then I had an epiphany. I lost what I lost to gain something bigger. Some doors were closed to enable to me to walk through the right one. Some things happened the way they did to keep me on the path GOD had, opposed to the path I thought was right. My bishop preached this morning about, sharing what God gave you with others because thats why that gift, talent, or wisdom was given in the first place. For that reason, I wanted to share this with you. Someone reading may have lost a job, be going through relationship issues, having car trouble, friend trouble, whatever. Please KNOW and UNDERSTAND, from a woman that goes through things in life just like you, theres ALWAYS a blessing after the storm. You have to really accept the fact that God has a plan you have to follow though or you make things MUCH harder on yourself. My greatest fear, and only fear for that matter is not doing what GOD has for me to do...

I think I posted something similar before in the "Stripped" entry, but I'm human, and I make mistakes. I grasp a concept of life and learn a lesson but when faced with a similar situation again if I dont apply the lesson I fall down the same road. So if I can help anyone else with MY experiences, I will.

Enjoy your day, God bless!

"Out of my Mind Just in Time" (inspired by Erykah Badu)

2010-05-29T18:49:00.003-04:00

As the days turn to nights the trailing number associated with my being increases. I grow older.
As I learn more about life I require more from myself in order to handle lifes lessons. I mature.
As falling in love turns to walking in love the road alongside me becomes more complicated I condition my heart. I adapt.
As I articulate my emotions, thoughts, and wants, I listen to the body language and actions that respond. I see.

Just a quick piece filled with emotion.

Perfect Imperfections

2010-05-29T18:21:00.002-04:00

I know that it has been a while since my last post. My writing never stops, my emotion is always heavy, but at times I have to filter out what I share on the internet from what needs to be kept as private pieces of my soul.

Perfect imperfections. What I mean by that is no person on earth is perfect. No expectation you have of the people in your life will be completely lived up to. With that said everyone has "perfect imperfections", things that make them who they are, create individualism, but also makes them flawed. The older I get I see my own imperfections and character flaws, some of which I seek to change, other aspects of myself I love even if no one else does and I dont intend to change (unless God changes it). I am a very analytical person. I expect a lot from people because I expect a lot from myself. I wouldnt ask anyone to do or be anything I would be or do myself. We (the people in my life) may see things differently but I'm very opinionated whien it comes to certain things. In the same regard I can also be stubborn. The people in my life (friends, family, co-workers, etc.) especially need to understand that I accept your perfect imperfections and I also need you to accept mine. If I evolve as a person I dont expect a "kudos" for it, but I would like for you to embrace it as I would for you. In the same regard, if I dont see you evolving as a person I dont feel we would be beneficial in each others lives because life is about change and growth. The moment you stop growing and changing you die. I'm for life, love, progress, and peace.

As as I share my perfect imperfections with the world, I will embrace those presented to me as well....Bless! (wink)

Untitled

2010-04-10T13:43:00.000-04:00

I woke up feeling inspired to just write. No phone, no tv, no reading, no talking, just writing. So thats exactly what I did. I turned up Erykah Badu's new album and let my mind be free. I realized everyday I clean my body several times a day, I clean my home several times a week, I drink water frequently to cleanse the inside of my body from some of the impurities I put into it in my daily life, however I dont take as much effort to clear my mind. The mind is such a vital part of who we are and what we do. Aside from my best efforts to only put constructive and enhancing things into my mind I also am striving to cleanse it of the thoughts, emotions, actions, and meditations that arent enhancing the person I am trying to become. I am always becoming. So, in light of all this, below is the piece that was written in my state of mental cleansing. Enjoy! (feedback welcome)

Eyes closed, the melody of feelings past and present fill my room and create peace.
Running down the checklist of things to forget, I remember ME.
Erasing the emotions that smother happiness, I dwell in a higher level of spirituality.
My heart beat declines as negative motives no longer fuel the increase of blood flow through my small frame.
I embrace the silence within my head.
I listen to my breath.
I envision everything and yet nothing at all.
The EBONY hue of my eyelids gave birth to the words viewed by you...and as I continue on my journey to mental release, I leave you this piece.

Besos!

For the Love of money?

2010-03-31T07:07:00.004-04:00

Before I even begin the post I want to give my disclaimer. I aspire to be successful in my career, remain financially stable, and even become wealthy in accomplishing my dreams. My drive and determination enables me to work harder, more diligently, and more open-heartedly. I operate on the statement, "seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be added unto you" and so far, I have, or see myself obtaining everything I could ever think of in the future, TODAY.
I said that first to make a point that America has become so wrapped up in "getting money" many people have lost the morals and values that are needed to operate as a respected individual. For example, no matter what city you live in you cant tell me you havent heard on the radio (at least once a week) about a "booty shaking contest" or something like that to "WIN" $50 in the club. Is that what women reduce themselves to for a small amount of money? Really? Or another thing that is equally as bad to me, people posting ads on various websites, selling items or listing a rental property all in lieu of a bogus credit application where your identity is stolen and you are now involved in some foreign money laundering scam or your credit cards have been maxed out. Even worse outcome, you are homeless and was just desperately seeking a home all to find out the ad was bogus, and you now have no home and no identity. WTH!??
I understand we are going through a recession and some people are hard up for money, others just greedy, but I digress. I think too much emphasis is put on MONEY, and not enough on SUCCESS. You become successful when you are reaching the goals you intended for yourself to reach and surpass them. You become successful when you can be a positive role model to those coming after you and are able to share your knowledge and experience to better someone else. Success is not measured by the car you drive, the size of your rims, the cost of your purse, or how much money you can throw away on oversized, over-rated jewelry.

Basically in a nutshell, focus on the right things, and all the right things will come back to you. Be blessed! ;)

Different...

2010-03-29T23:56:00.003-04:00

Art...do we respect it?? I feel that Erykah Badu and Kelis are two of the most creative females in the game right now. They come out with videos that we criticize and make fun of of, but is it because its not the usual thing we are used to seeing? Is it because we dont understand and its easier to laugh at it than appreciate and attempt to understand their meaningful intent. As you notice I say "WE" because I speak from experience. I first saw Erykah Badu's new video (above) and I'm like, "she lost it...she went from being fully covered in like 2003 to freaking naked!" then I took time to listen to the lyrics and break down every portion of the video and it made sense, and as an artist/poet/writer I appreciate it. Window seat's are used for the view, right? She's speaking of attention in the song, and as you notice in the video, stripping naked in the video she gets no attention from the people around her. Similar to a lot that goes on in life (mine anyway, if no one else wants to co-sign lol). Point being, the lady is deep. I personally am tired of everything that mainstream media think is hot...I love different. If this is coming at you too late (or early) to be so deep, let it marinate...speak on it tomorrow. (winks) God bless, goodnight!

HECTIC!

2010-03-21T11:27:00.004-04:00

I am still trying to get on track with my new schedule. Thank God for weekends, but I still feel a little behind.. but whatever. It'll all fall into place soon.

Last week was very emotional for me. I hit a point in my life where I felt as though I wasnt understood or listened to in certain instances. Thank God for the people that comforted me during that time, I needed that to get through it. I realized a valuable lesson, YOU CANT EXPECT SOMEONE TO KNOW WHAT YOU DONT SAY. We say all the time how a person should know us, understand us, and be able to relate, however if you never take the time to help them understand you, they never will. More importantly, if this intent to make your thought process and emotions known falls on deaf ears there still wont be any progress.

With that said, I guess I will return to my routine for the day. I was unable to make it to church but I'm watching the message still via ustream. Then I will be preparing for the week ahead. Have a blessed and happy week!

BESOS! ;)

YES!

2010-03-11T06:57:00.003-05:00

Good morning!! Yes I am indeed in a great mood (even with it being as early as it is, lol). First of all I will officially be starting my writing class Monday. I touched on this a little in a previous entry but I can elaborate now. My intent is to take one, maybe two writing courses to hone my skill. Once I feel I have reached the level I aspire to be there will be many more BIG things to come. I know that some people may say, "I thought you were good at writing already?" well, in reality, the average intellectual person wouldnt aspire to do something without receiving the proper training in that area, correct? I am no different. I feel that God gave me the ability to accurately articulate and express my words through poetry but I want to perfect that craft and better utilize that gift. I am extremely excited about the class, and even more excited about the opportunity to learn.

I had a very through provoking conversation yesterday. Literacy in America does not seem to be as much of a priority as it should be. In other countries there is a much bigger emphasis on education for children, and continuing education for adults. In ignorance, many Americans make jokes about the Japanese and Asian culture, but those are the most disciplined people you would ever meet. They set high expectations and achieve their goals, not because they are more intelligent than other people in other areas, but because their want to know, understand, and succeed is greater than most. When have you ever known an Asian to be illiterate as an adult?? I definitely intend to read more, enhance my knowledge, and continue my education in more ways than one. In the same respect, I will pass that drive down to my children so that they will be reading and comprehending beyond their age group and later on more effectively progress through their schooling and easily be afforded the opportunity to reach their goals. No one limits us, we limit ourselves. Expand your mind! :)

Have a blessed day!

Randomness

2010-03-09T06:32:00.002-05:00

Good morning! I am up ridiculously early but I guess you could say that I'm a person that can rest but I never really sleep. My mind goes a million miles a minute even when I think my mind is clear. Often times when I dream there are several different scenarios combined, and at times I cant even remember the dream once I awaken. I assume this is why I have to keep busy in life also, this aspect of my personality just consumes me I guess.

I wanted to change things today in regards to what I share with you all here. I feel that I have been robbing you of the opportunity to actually see the initmate side of me, which was my intention for this blog (along with the goal of creating a positive outlook on life and encouraging people). I tend to be a private person. I am not the strongest person in the world but I guard my feelings because I'm accustomed to doing that from my up bringing. My family members arent very emotional people. We dont tell you how we feel often (unless you've done something to piss us off), and you will not get many "kudos" for doing something good around us, typically. Usually a "thank you" will be sufficient. Although, I love my family and would never want to trade them for anything, I think this creates barriers between us and some of the relationships we have in our lives. I just now learned to truly express things about my feelings and emotions. I also just recently realized that people around me need to know that they are appreciated and loved. We didnt do much of that when I was growing up. Occasional hugs and daily "I love you" statements are ok, but considering 95% of communication is nonverbal, we have all been lacking some ability to express our love and appreciation for the people around us.

I know that all my family loves me just as I love them, and some things about us "outsiders" may not understand, but to any of my family members that are reading, love on the people you care about that surround you in a daily basis and please let them know more often than not, with your actions, words, and attention just how much you care. I'm at the point in my life now where if I could spend time with all my cousins, and all my aunts and uncles more often I would. Despite the past, despite misunderstanding, despite distance, I would. As a kid I couldnt wait to be on my own and away from everyone, that always sounded negative back then but I've just always had an independent spirit. Now, as an adult, I do want my own space, I dont want close living quarters to anyone, but I would appreciate the luxury of being able to still spend time with everyone other than Christmas and Thanksgiving (lol). I know it will happen. All of my grandparents are deceased, that alone shows how short life is. This is why my thought process now isnt to just celebrate and be thankful for my life but also for the lives around me.

Have a blessed day!

Ambassador

2010-03-08T20:23:00.002-05:00

My mind has been a million different places in the past few days/weeks, but one place it hasnt been is a state of depression or stress. Sunday's church service was such a blessing to my spirit and my mind. The word from my bishop Sunday was that we are all ambassadors of the kingdom of God, on earth to do his will in the individual areas that God has placed us in. I for one, have been through the phase in my life where I feel as though I have no direction and was unsure of my purpose. In life, I know that as a Christian woman/man if we are seeking to do the right thing, we are most likely already walking in the will of God and our divine purpose in life already. Whenever you greet someone with a smile, lend an ear, offer a ride, ask if they need help, all that is being something to someone that you didnt have to be but was needed for that time.

My life takes many twists and turns over time, but one thing that is consistent is the fact that I plan to change for the better and truly become the ambassador for God I should be! I can count on one hand how many times I have been truly in touch with things going on in my life and it feels good to put meaning to my actions, aspirations, and hopes. What are your dreams? Are you chasing them?